Transcript: August 29th, 2004« Back

Marriage Made in Heaven,The Loving Husband Parts 1 and 2

Ephesians 5:25-33a

Jeff Noblit

 

The Submissive Wife, Part 1

Ephesians 5:22-24

 

     Ephesians chapter 5.  Let’s go back to our verse by verse study.  we come to Ephesians chapter 5, beginning in verse 22 with a series of messages that I have entitled, “Marriage Made in Heaven.”  One of my staff said this morning, “Yeah, so is thunder and lightning.”  Well, this is true.  But what I want to do, God willing, is lay more of just the exegetical truth of the passage out today for ladies, and then give you a lot of practical things that, ladies, I’m confident will strengthen you and encourage you. 

     Then after that we’ll kick off with the loving husband and try to do one session on the exegetical outlay of that and then, men, give us a lot of practical instructions on that.

     Marriage made in heaven, Ephesians chapter 5 verses 22 through 24.  Paul, getting again to this practical section of the book which builds on the great doctrinal truths.  If you don’t have the doctrine, you can’t do the practical.  Doctrine is always practical.  Verse 22:  Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.  But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. 

     Now our church’s purpose statement is now over fifteen years old.  And by the way, our purpose statement and our three strategy statements to fulfill the purpose statement aren’t just nice little things to have around.  They absolutely dictate what we are and what we do and why we do it because it’s not our church.  It’s God’s church, and He’s given a very thorough, sufficient manual for how to run it.  And we have at least one hundred hours in our purpose statement, because I never leave anything alone.  I’m always revising and studying and changing and correcting stuff that I didn’t see clearly in years past.  But our purpose statement says this:  “The purpose of First Baptist Church is to glorify God by obediently making and equipping disciples of Christ in the Shoals and throughout the world by the power of the Holy Spirit.” 

Now since we first wrote that statement fifteen years ago, God has matured our body significantly, spiritually speaking.  Even so the statement remains an excellent guide for us as we seek to be thoroughly biblical in all that we do and why we do what we do.  I got a real encouraging report recently when a man came into our office and said, “I feel drawn to your church.  I’m understanding the sovereignty of God in conversion.  I just believe doctrinally this is where I’m supposed to be,” and I said to my staff, rather facetiously I guess, “You mean a Baptist is picking a church based on Bible doctrine?”  That is encouraging.  That is encouraging.  Usually it’s, “Oh, the music program,” or “Oh, the children’s program,” or “Oh, the student program,” or “Oh, the pastor…”  What about God’s truth?  That’s what matters. 

But when you look at that purpose statement, the most important part without question is the first three words, “To glorify God.”  To glorify God.  You see, the very existence of the universe is due, rather, to God’s delight in His own glory.  All that is was created by Him to manifest and reflect His glory.  As an early Christian I couldn’t comprehend what that, what does that mean to glorify God or to show forth His glory.  It means for Him to make clear or to shine forth who He is.  And who He is is so magnanimous and wonderful God just couldn’t hold it in, so He created.  And all that He created is to be an expression of all the wonder and perfection and holiness and glory of who He is. 

Now in the eternal counsel of God He chose to create man for His glory.  But humble yourself this morning.  He did not create man because that, or because in any way He was incomplete or not sufficient in and of Himself.  I believe Jonathan Edwards, that great pastor of early America was right when He said, “All the universe and all of creation exists because God is so full He couldn’t help but slosh some of it over and have a creation.”  So creation is not the result of God needing something or God wanting to be complete in some way.  It’s just the sloshing over of this infinite being.  And everything that He is, particularly for our purposes today, man and woman were created for God’s glory.  Can I say to you that nothing about marriage is gonna matter at all biblically speaking if you don’t get that nailed down in your heart.  It’s about God and His glory.

Now I want you to turn, keep your finger in Ephesians 5 and turn, turn over to Genesis chapter 2.  Genesis chapter 2 and let’s begin by reading verse 7.  Then we’ll jump over to verse 15.  In Genesis 2:7 he says, “Then the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living being.”  Now verse 15.  “Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate and keep it.  Now the Lord God commanded the man saying, ‘From any tree of the garden you may eat freely, but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat for the day you eat from it you shall surely die.’”  Now notice verse 18.  “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make him a helper suitable for him.’”  So here’s Adam, man in the garden.  God looks at Adam, now up to this point God’s looked at everything else He created and said, “This is good.  This is good.  This is good.”  He looks at Adam by himself, “This is not good.”  I often commented had God made Eve first, Adam would’ve never been created.  She’d been fine by herself.  But Adam, “This is not good.”  And, and in effect God says, “You’re pitiful.  You’re gonna need some help.”  That’s what it says.  “A helper suitable for him.” 

But there’s something bigger than that.  You see, God’s glory was not complete through man with man being alone.  That’s the real issue.  God wants to so manifest who He is through man, and God looked at Adam and said, “You don’t do by yourself.  I’m too great for you by yourself to manifest Me.  I’ve got to give you something else so that you can truly manifest and glorify Me.”  And God said, “You need a companion.” 

So look at verses 19 and 20.  Out of the ground the Lord formed every beast of the field and every bird in the sky and brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name.  The man gave names to all the cattle and to the birds of the sky and to every beast of the field.  But for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.”  For said, “Here’s all the birds, here’s all the beasts.”  Adam gave them all names, but none of them was a helper suitable for him. 

Now look at verses 21 through 25.  So, that being true, “The Lord caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept and He took one of His ribs and closed the flesh at that place.  And the Lord fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man and brought he to the man.”  Verse 23:  “The man said, ‘Now this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.  She shall be called “woman” because she was taken out of man.’  For this reason a man shall leave His father and his mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh.” 

In verse 23, in effect, the, the rib’s taken out of Adam.  A woman is fashioned from the rib, which says that this is one equal to Adam, equal in worth and equal in value at least in God’s eyes.  So now he has one suitable to be his helper, his companion. 

In verse 24, we see that mysterious thing where He says, “You’re gonna be joined together, husband and wife and the two will become one flesh.”  So God says when husband and wife come together they form one whole.  The Bible calls it one flesh.  Now this is, this is a mystery.  We, this is one of those truths like the trinity that you see but you don’t fully see.  You kind of comprehend, but you don’t fully comprehend, but you know it’s true.  But what God is pointing out is this completeness is obtained when a man and a woman come together as husband and wife, this is God’s divine plan.  It’s good for man and it brings great glory to God.  So marriage therefore is designed and ordained of God.  It is His idea.  Marriage lived out in His way by His power gives Him great glory.  That’s what it’s all about. 

Now today we have social engineers, sociologists, psychologists, feminists, homosexuals, and others who have put their distorted minds and defiled hands on marriage.  They do not desire the glory of God.  By the way, what is the Christian message to this perversion that’s on the political scene in America today about marriage?  The Christian message is that defiles the glory of God.  That’s the main message.  God’s first in this.  Not that it’s bad for culture and bad for children.  That’s very true.  It ought to be said.  But it defiles the glory of God.  It corrupts the being of God as far as His expression through man.  His majesty, His worth, His wonder.  But they don’t desire the glory of God.  Really what they want is for marriage to reflect the glory of man.  Fallen, depraved men would tell us that they are now superior to God and marriage must be redefined.  The God-ordained roles of husband and wife must be updated, they would tell us.  They’re even now pushing for marriage to be the union of two men or two women. 

But this kind of marriage that these social engineers and psychologists and homosexuals and others would put on us, this is marriage made on earth.  It’s of this fallen sinful earth.  It’s the fruit of satanic lies that have been cultivated in the fallen minds of evil men.  As James 3:15 says, “This wisdom is not that which come down from above but is earthly, natural, demonic.”  Oh, but, brothers and sisters in Christ, we are not to be influenced by their so-called wisdom.  We are saved.  Saved ones.  We’re saved from being enslaved to the corrupting influence of worldly philosophies, philosophies that are spawned in the minds of godless men.  We’re saved ones, saved from this worldliness.  We are saved to be able to live out the true high principles of another kingdom, that is the kingdom of God and the kingdom of heaven.  So let’s begin today to take a look at marriage from heaven’s perspective, the Creator’s perspective.  Let’s look at marriage as it was designed by the God of heaven, marriage that gives God glory and is an immeasurable blessing to men.  So for His glory and by His power, let’s yield our hearts and minds to Him and learn more of what true marriage looks like, that is marriage made in heaven.

Now if we’re gonna do this, if we’re gonna fulfill this ideal of marriage that came from the heart of God and from the wisdom of heave that’s not of this fallen earth, then there are three things we need to talk about from our text.  First of all, we’re gonna talk about divine illumination and power.  The way Paul constructs the text he strongly shows us that this type of marriage is absolutely impossible without the divine illumination and power.  That is the power of God.  Can I say something to you, and I think Christianity has failed here greatly.  I think a lot of our pastors have failed here a lot of our teachers have failed here.  Christianity is not a self-help society.  Christianity is not about behavior modification.  Christianity is not about saving the culture.  Christians, Christianity is not moralism.  Though it is true the culture will be better, though it is true if you’re a Christian you’ll be moral, Christianity is about God invading earth, God penetrating and changing men, and therefore God saving these men from the strongholds and corrupting influences from a fallen world and setting them apart to a saved lifestyle of living by the superior, unique, God-ordained principles that the God of heaven has given us.  But you cannot do these things apart from divine illumination and divine power.  You’ll be frustrated.  You’ll be bitter.  You’ll be angry.  You’ll be everything if you try to do this apart from the power of God.  It’s impossible.  So I have nothing to say here for the unbeliever except come to Christ and then learn these things. 

Well, let’s talk about divine illumination and power and reference the fact that Christ is the source of true illumination and true power.  Knowing Him and loving Him, now listen to this, is the bedrock of all Christian behavior.  I used to have this backwards.  I used to teach, teach, preach, preach, teach, teach, preach, preach all the principles of behavior, and that’s not wrong, it’s just not primary.  What we really need to preach and really need to teach are the glories and the wonders and the grace and the sovereignty of God that so impacts our mind and so melts our heart that we so know Him and so love Him we are then enabled to live out the practical principles and procedures of Christian behavior.  But it has to flow in that direction.  Knowing and loving Christ must be our growing, consuming passion.  That’s one thing that gives me joy and great hope for our future is all the numbers of people who communicated to me they’re growing in their love and passion for God.  That is what we’re looking for because all the behavior will fall in place if that’s in place.  Because when this is the case, then we find His commandments to be our delight and not a drudgery.

Quickly go back to Ephesians and let’s look at a few things.  Now why don’t you turn over to the first chapter?  Ephesians chapter 1 and look at verse 17 and just mark how much the Bible talks about the knowledge of Him, the knowledge of Him, the knowledge of HimHe said, “That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him.”  Use your brains.  Get in the Words.  Study it.  Learn more of Him, more of the wonders of His grace and His sovereignty and His predestination and His substitutionary atonement and all the glories of who He is. 

Then chapter 4, if you will, of Ephesians, verse 13.  Until we all attain to the unity of the faith and to the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.  Now “knowledge,” he says, “of the Son of God.”  Colossians 3:10:  And have put on the new self, who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created Him.  A true knowledge.  Learn of Him.  Now listen.  If God has regenerated your heart and you learn of Him, then you can trust the Holy Spirit is illumining your mind and melding your heart to love Him more.

Second Peter chapter 1 verses 2 and 3: Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, now look, through the true knowledge of Him.  Now notice the context.  Everything containing to life, or pertaining to life and godliness through what?  Through the knowledge of Him, learning more of Him, listening to more good Bible preaching, reading good books, studying your Sunday School lesson, having your quiet time, learning of Him.

Second Peter 3:18:  But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  So divine illumination and power are a prerequisite for living out marriage as God intends, that is marriage made in heaven.

Now get close to our text.  Let’s look at the immediate context of what Paul is saying here when he gets down to wives in verse 22.  And a key verse is verse 18, which says, Ephesians 5:18, “And do not get drunk with wine for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit.”  The phrase “filled with the Spirit” I think is misunderstood greatly.  It doesn’t mean get this impersonal power and get full of it.  That’s not what it means.  It means get full of God.  It’s commanding you to get responsibility to keep yourself full of God.  I call it cultivating a continual crush on God.  Just like you cultivate your heart and your mind and your attitudes toward the love of, of one that you’ve fallen in love with or you’re engaged to or you’re courting, whatever it might be, or your own spouse, of course.  So he commands us, “You see to it that you are continually cultivating a crush on God.”  You’re just learning more of Him and you’re more enamored, you’re more in wonder, you’re more in awe, He’s more precious to you. 

And then you come down to verse 21.  Look at verse 21 of chapter 5:  And be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.  Submission is impossible without spiritual power.  Whoever it is, that young person that finds all the little reasons why they cannot have a respectful attitude and a submissive actions toward their parents.  A lot of times they think, “Well, it’s just an intellectual problem.  My parents aren’t right here.  My parents aren’t right there.”  But it’s not an intellectual problem.  It’s a spiritual problem.  It’s a lack of spiritual power.  A wife can’t submit to her husband because she don’t have the spiritual power to do it.  All of God’s ordained lines of authority require submission.  But it takes spiritual power.  Friend, if you’re having trouble with submission you don’t have an intellectual problem, you have a spiritual problem.  That’s why he puts Ephesians 5:;18 first.  Get full of God and love for God, i.e. full of the Spirit.  Then he says, “Then you have the enablement to submit to one another because when you get full of God you’re so full of gratitude, you’re so overwhelmed at His love, you realize so fully that you don’t deserve His forgiveness.  You realize so completely that you’re nothing in God’s eyes.  He should’ve sent you straight to hell, and it’s very easy to deal with that view of yourself to put others first.  That’s the flowing context. 

If we’re increasingly learning of Him and loving Him, we will increasingly have the illumination and the power to delight in our marriages and live with our spouses the way God intended.  Marriage is made in heaven.  The God of heaven designed it.  But it has to be lived out down here.  And marriage that originated in heaven can be lived out down here, but it requires heavenly strength.  You know what the best thing you could do for your marriage is?  Fall in love with Jesus.  Fall in love with Jesus.  Just love Him more.  Learn of Him more.  Love Him more.  Learn of Him more.  And the spiritual power you will develop by learning more of Christ and loving Christ will do more for your marriage than all the books, studies and seminars than you can put together that only impact your mind.  So divine illumination and power, that’s essential to have the marriage God designed and wants you to have.  It brings Him glory and brings immeasurable good to your life.

Okay, let’s go to the specifics of verses 22 through 24.  They build off of verse 21, be subject to one another.  So now Paul’s gonna say, “For example, there are certain people who have the roles of being submissive to others.”  In this case he brings out the submissive wife. 

Now first of all, I want to give you submission defined and amplified.  What does this submission mean?  Look at verse 22.  Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord.  Well, this word’s used a lot in the scriptures.  In some places it means to relinquish one’s rights.  Other places it just means to yield under.  It means to arrange or to align yourself under another.  It’s used in military settings where the soldiers align themselves under the proper officer.  One man said it this way:  “The wife aligns her gifts and talents under her husband’s purpose and vision for the family.”  She aligns her gifts and talents up under her husband, being subject to him. 

Now two things I want to say about this at this point.  Number one, this includes actions, and then secondly in includes attitudes.  First of all, actions.  First Peter 3:5 and 6 says, “For in this way in former times the holy women also,” here’s the key, “who hoped in God used to adorn themselves,” he’s saying they’re gonna adorn themselves with certain actions, not just pretty stuff on the outside.  Pretty stuff on the outside’s good.  Makeup’s fine.  I mean that’s fine.  Be careful.  Be wise about it.  But that’s fine.  As J. Vernon McGee used to say, a little paint helps any old barn.  But Peter is saying a godly woman has actions that adorn her.  And he starts by saying, “being subject to their own husbands.  Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.”  Action.  She obeyed Abraham.  So submission definitely involves action.

But secondly it also involves attitude.  In verse 33 at the bottom of this text, the last phrase he says, “And the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”  I want to say this to you again.  I say it over and over because I see children destroyed by this.  I want you to hear my heart.  I want to beg you on this.  When you carry a dishonoring attitude toward God ordained authority, you are destroying your children.  Please hear me.  Satan tell you, “I’ll get by with it.”  Your children are not dumb.  They see your attitude.  AND what you allow in minimum, they will excuse in excess.  And they’ll say, “My father, my mother dishonor’s God-ordained authority.  I’m free to do whatever I want.”  They’re gonna get sixteen, seventeen, and eighteen and look you right in the eye and in effect say, “You don’t honor biblical authority, and I don’t honor you.”  Don’t think you’ll be the exception to the rule.  Now this is a side note, but I’m telling you it breaks my heart to see this happen, and I see it over and over and over again.  Very often I can even be around the children of someone and know in a few minutes if they respect the pastor by the attitude of their children.  And God has ordained that you cannot prosper spiritually without being under, respecting, and listening to and honoring biblical preaching.  So you cursed your children with a curse when you do that.  Please don’t do that. 

Wives, submitting to your husband and not being frightened by any fear, the text says, will teach your children to joyously honor the authority God puts over them, which will be an immeasurable blessing to their lives.  Submission involves actions and attitude. 

Now second thing I want you to see about the submissive wife is that it’s indisputable.  In my studies in thinking over this, it seemed that a lot of people and some of the Christian psychologists sort of soft-pedal this issue as if they’re afraid they’re gonna demean women or hurt women or degrade women or anger women.  Listen, sisters.  This is your liberty.  God’s Word does not hurt you.  God’s Word blesses you.  It’s robbery to you to not give you the great truth of God’s Word in these areas. 

Notice what He says or what the scripture says in various occasions, all the way back to creation.  Genesis 3:16.  To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth.  In pain you shall bring forth children, yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”  Now the fall has occurred.  Sin has entered into the human race.  And what’s happened is something got warped in this fall into sin.  The wife no longer naturally or joyously will submit to her husband but she will still be under his authority.  Before the fall, Eve was naturally inclined to submit to Adam.  After the fall, she battles against it, but he still rules over her.  But the point being here, from creation God designed it this way. 

First Peter chapter 3, we just read it, verses 1 and 2, “In the same way you wives, be subject, or submissive to your own husbands so that if any of them are disobedient to the Word they may be won without a word by the behavior of the wives as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.” Verse 5, First Peter 3:5:  “For in this way in former times, the holy women also who hoped in God used to adorn themselves being submissive to their own husbands.  Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.”  Now Peter here refers back to the initial stages of the nation of Israel when God called Abraham with Sarah to start a nation.  And in that beginning in creation He had it that way, wives submitting to their husbands.  In the beginning of Israel He had wives submitting to husbands. 

First Corinthians chapter 11 verses 4 through 6, I won’t read all of that, but he talks about the woman having the proper head covering in this culture.  Uh, going without the head covering was a thing that only pagans would do in certain pagan, maybe, rights or rituals or shaving of the head, which was a disgraceful thing.  And he speaks of putting a covering on your head to show your submission, that you’re aligning under your headship. 

Titus 2:3 through 5, women, what’s the job the older ladies of the church?  Older ladies likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands that the Word of God might not be dishonored.” 

First Corinthians 14:34, referring to church settings:  Let the woman keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak, but let them subject themselves, just as the law also says.  God has given one leader for the home.  It, it’s chaotic when two heads in the home are speaking for the home.  And the woman’s designed by God for certain nurturing.  She has an emotional capacity a man does not have.  That’s why she must filter her expressions through her husband.  And I’m gonna tell you, you want to find a church in trouble, you find a church with a lot of independent spirited women.  And there’s a reason why God puts this in scriptures.  Ladies need the time to filter things through their head and their head, the husband, speaks for the family in the church.  Now that does not mean ladies can’t talk in church.  Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying.  Particularly this is probably connected to the gift of tongues, but there’s a general principle here that there’s great wisdom in follow-up. 

Colossians 3:18:  Wives, be submissive to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.  So one thing that we find here that this is absolutely indisputable.  This is God’s ordained pattern for marriage from creation, the beginnings of Israel, the pattern and practice of the church.

Well, not only is it indisputable, but next it’s voluntary.  Notice what it says in Ephesians 5:21.  “Be subject to one another in the fear of the Lord.”  Now his point is submission is part and partial of the daily Christian experience.  Particularly in this context, he says, “Wives, for example, you’re submitting to your husbands.”  His point is this, when a Christian woman chooses to marry, she is voluntarily committing herself to subjection or submission to her husband.  It shouldn’t be a mystery to her, shouldn’t be debatable to her.  It’s understood.  You don’t have to get married.  But if you do, you’re voluntarily saying, “I understand and will work in submission under my husband.”  So it’s indisputable.  It’s voluntary. 

Thirdly, I want you to know it’s limited.  It’s limited.  Notice how he says it here in verse 22.  “Wives, be subject to your own husbands.”  So first of all it’s limited to your own husband.  Well, thank God for that.  Thank God ladies don’t get up in the morning and say, “Okay, who do I submit to today?  Who do I got to answer to today?  Who’s gonna be my leader today?”  He says to your own husbands.  Not some stranger, but your own husbands.  Now in the real world, everyone submits to someone.  God is gracious to wives.  They submit to one who has vowed to love, honor, trust, and serve them.  They are blessed, I think, because they are under the authority or their husbands, rather, are under the authority of scripture to love them.  And if they’re in a church that’s trying to do right, they can be held accountable by church leaders to love their wives.  We’ve had more than a few couples come in for counseling and we held the husbands accountable to do what the scripture says.  So you can just make an appointment, say, “I need to bring him in.  He ain’t doing right.”  And we’ll do our best with scripture. 

You know I’m convinced this is what a woman wants.  A woman in her heart of hearts doesn’t want a man she can boss around.  She wants a man she can look up to, a man whose judgment she can respect, whose leadership she can respond to and really if a woman doesn’t get this she feels cheated because God put it in her heart.

Well, not only is it limited to her own husbands, it’s also limited by God’s Word.  Notice what he says in verse 24.  “But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands.”  As the church submits to Christ, now the point is Christ would never, ever ask the church in her submission to do something that violated God’s Word or Christ would never ask the church to not do something commanded in God’s Word.  So a wife’s submission to her husband is limited to biblical authority.  You see, employers have authority, parents have authority, church elders have authority, government has authority, husbands have authority.  Those are God’s structures of authority.  But no authority can obligate someone to do something that God forbids or not to do what God commands. 

I was meditating on this, and I, it’s been a pattern of ours through the years if a lady comes to us and her husband’s not a believer or maybe not walking with God at least and she says, “You know my husband said he’ll go to church but he won’t come to First Baptist Muscle Shoals,” and usually we’ll say, “Well, honor the authority of your husband and go where he wants to go.”  As the years have rolled by I’ve seen those same ladies go with that husband.  He picks a watered down, wishy-washy church where there’s no discipline or accountability and many times a few years later he divorces her and leaves her anyway.  I’m not so sure that’s the wisest advice.  I’m not so sure it’s wise for a godly lady to go to a place where she knows is gonna be weak spiritually, there’s no accountability, and weak teaching.  But who knows the absolute on that?  Well, it’s limited to their own husbands.  It’s limited by God’s Word. 

Next I want you to know it’s unlimited in extent.  There’s an unlimited aspect to this.  Notice how he words it in verse 24, when you get to the last part, “But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.”  You don’t go into marriage saying, “Okay, this is the area, and I’ll do, I’ll honor your headship in this area, but not in the other areas.”  Her submission extends to all spheres or aspects of social life.  The phrase “in everything” refers to extent, not degree.  It’s required that husbands exercise their headship with selfless love.  But the submission is unlimited in the sense that she does not come into marriage with a contract written or unwritten.  In everything is the biblical teaching. 

Now in today’s culture this is difficult, very difficult.  But it was also very difficult in Paul’s day.  You know there was a sizeable feminist movement in Paul’s day?  The Greek culture had quite a bit of feminism in it.  Matter of fact, some ladies would take off their tops and go bare-chested into the woods to hunt for wild beasts to prove they were as masculine as men.  So this probably didn’t go over well with a lot of the folks Paul was speaking to. 

Now the Bible does not belittle the difficulty of this, but neither does it annul the husband’s authority.  And the point of verse 24 when he says, “in everything” that there is not aspect of life and no time of life when a woman fails to submit to the biblical authority of her husband. 

Now lastly, not only is it indisputable, not only is it voluntary, that is the wife knows up front, “I’ve voluntarily gonna honor God’s role for me as wife.”  Not only is it limited to her own husband and to the Word of God.  Husbands should never tell a wife to violate God’s Word and do something or can never tell a wife not to do something God’s Word requires or commands.  And not only is it unlimited in extent, but lastly, it involves great divine purposes. Great divine purposes.  You see, honoring, obeying and submitting to God means we honor and obey and submit to God ordained authority. 

And in verse 23, he says some things we need to look at.  He says, “For the husband is head of the wife as Christ also is head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.”  The church submits to Christ the Head, and He’s the one who saves the body, the church.  So as Christ’s authority over the church protects the church and saves the church and provides the church with everything good, so the husband is given to the wife to protect her, to provide for her, and to do for her what is good.  Wives, focus on the great divine purpose behind your role of submission to your husband.  As Christ’s headship benefits the church, so the husband’s headship benefits the wife. 

When a wife submits to her husband she should see the great divine purpose in that it expresses to the world the superior wisdom and therefore the glory of God.  One of the ways biblical marriage expresses to the world the superior wisdom and the glory of God is in this mutual completeness.  The husband’s headship with love, the wife’s submission to the husband meshes together in an incredible unity and oneness that the world can’t comprehend, but they’re in awe of it when it’s practiced before them in God’s Spirit.  So that mutual completeness that shows God’s wisdom and glory is one of the divine purposes behind it.  But also the maturation that God develops in the husband as a wife submits to that husband. 

Ladies, focus on the divine purpose.  Focus on the divine purpose.  As you submit to your husband, continually look over his shoulder and see your Lord saying to you, “You’re doing this ultimately for Me, not for him.”  So when your husband says, “You’re not looking me in the eye,” say, “No, I’m looking at Jesus over your shoulder right now.”  Keep looking over that shoulder and see your Lord saying, “You’re doing this ultimately for Me, not for him and not because he deserves your service, but because I deserve your devotion.”  That’s what your Lord is saying.